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Through research, trainings and being in a marital relationship I have been learning a lot about marriages over the past 36 years . I have a pretty good idea about what works best for a satisfying, enjoyable, intimate marriage. The couples that I see who are most successful in their relationship are those couples where both
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are dedicated and committed to learning about their relationship,
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are willing to take personal responsibility and be accountable,
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are able to repair and connect,
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communicate and share language in a mutually healthy manner,
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have passion for the relationship,
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can have a successful conversation about what is going on between the couple
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are partners in growth
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trust each other
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mutually regulate themselves, have good boundaries and self-esteem
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are able to express appreciations and acknowledgments
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are able to be interdependent, you not only know what your needs and wants are but you are able to make those needs and wants known in a healthy way
All of these take skills....and practice...practice....practice...and more practice until they become a habit. Many of these skills we did not learn in our family. As adults in our own marital relationship we have the capability to learn relational skills that create a mutually loving environment where both partners will feel cherished..... as we all deserve.
In my work with couples I use Terry Real’s “Relational Life Therapy” model, John and Julie Gottman’s “ Marital Therapy: A Research Based Approach”, and Brent Atkiinson’s “Developing Habits for Relationship Success”. I have had extensive training in these approaches. I also borrow from many other approaches I have studied over the years.
For more info on the primary approaches I use go to:
www.terryreal.com
www.gottman.com
Developing Habits for Relationship success
http://www.thecouplesclinic.com/our_approach.htm
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