Mercy
Dennis
Retired Marriage and Family Therapist

I am retiring after finding my Alaska Home, as a Marriage and Family Therapist, forty-eight years ago. The years have flown by since being offered the window of opportunity to work in a professional field that has greatly evolved and matured over those years. This golden opportunity to work with a wonderful community of folks, including clients and other professionals, is priceless and I appreciate every one of them. I feel honored and privileged to have known them. As one door closes and another opens I am excited to think about more time in the garden.
What is a Marital & Family Therapist?
A family's patterns of behavior influences the individual and therefore may need to be a part of the treatment plan. In marriage and family therapy, the unit of treatment isn't just the person - even if only a single person is interviewed - it is the set of relationships in which the person is imbedded.
Marriage and family therapy most often is:
- brief
- solution-focused
- specific, with attainable therapeutic goals
- designed with the "end in mind."
Marriage and family therapists treat a wide range of serious clinical problems including: depression, marital problems, anxiety, individual psychological problems, and child-parent problems.
Research indicates that marriage and family therapy is as effective, and in some cases more effective than standard and/or individual treatments for many mental health problems such as: adult schizophrenia, affective (mood) disorders, adult alcoholism and drug abuse, children's conduct disorders, adolescent drug abuse, anorexia in young adult women, childhood autism, chronic physical illness in adults and children, and marital distress and conflict.
Marriage and family therapists regularly practice short-term therapy; 12 sessions on average. Nearly 65.6% of the cases are completed within 20 sessions, 87.9% within 50 sessions. Marital/couples therapy (11.5 sessions) and family therapy (9 sessions) both require less time than the average individuated treatment (13 sessions). About half of the treatment provided by marriage and family therapists is one-on-one with the other half divided between marital/couple and family therapy, or a combination of treatments.
Who are Marriage and Family Therapists?
Marriage and Family Therapists (MFTs) are mental health professionals trained in psychotherapy and family systems, and licensed to diagnose and treat mental and emotional disorders within the context of marriage, couples and family systems.
Marriage and family therapists are a highly experienced group of practitioners, with an average of 13 years of clinical practice in the field of marriage and family therapy. They evaluate and treat mental and emotional disorders, other health and behavioral problems, and address a wide array of relationship issues within the context of the family system.

Marriage and Family Therapists broaden the traditional emphasis on the individual to attend to the nature and role of individuals in primary relationship networks such as marriage and the family. MFTs take a holistic perspective to health care; they are concerned with the overall, long-term well-being of individuals and their families.
MFTs have graduate training (a Master's or Doctoral degree) in marriage and family therapy and at least two years of clinical experience. Marriage and family therapists are recognized as a "core" mental health profession, along with psychiatry, psychology, social work and psychiatric nursing.
Since 1970 there has been a 50-fold increase in the number of marriage and family therapists. At any given time they are treating over 1.8 million people.
Why use a Marriage and Family Therapist?
Research studies repeatedly demonstrate the effectiveness of marriage and family therapy in treating the full range of mental and emotional disorders and health problems. Adolescent drug abuse, depression, alcoholism, obesity and dementia in the elderly -- as well as marital distress and conflict -- are just some of the conditions Marriage and Family Therapists effectively treat.
Studies also show that clients are highly satisfied with services of Marriage and Family Therapists. Clients report marked improvement in work productivity, co-worker relationships, family relationships, partner relationships, emotional health, overall health, social life, and community involvement.
In a recent study, consumers report that marriage and family therapists are the mental health professionals they would most likely recommend to friends. Over 98 percent of clients of marriage and family therapists report therapy services as good or excellent.
After receiving treatment, almost 90% of clients report an improvement in their emotional health, and nearly two-thirds report an improvement in their overall physical health. A majority of clients report an improvement in their functioning at work, and over three-fourths of those receiving marital/couples or family therapy report an improvement in the couple relationship. When a child is the identified patient, parents report that their child's behavior improved in 73.7% of the cases, their ability to get along with other children significantly improved and there was improved performance in school. Marriage and family therapy's prominence in the mental health field has increased due to its brief, solution-focused treatment, its family-centered approach, and its demonstrated effectiveness. Marriage and family therapists are licensed or certified in 46 states and are recognized by the federal government as members of a distinct mental health discipline.
Today more than 50,000 marriage and family therapists treat individuals, couples, and families nationwide. Membership in the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) has grown from 237 members in 1960 to more than 23,000 in 1996. This growth is a result, in part, of renewed public awareness of the value of family life and concern about the increased stresses on families in a rapidly changing world.
What are the qualifications for a Marriage and Family Therapist?
Marriage and family therapy is a distinct professional discipline with graduate and post graduate programs. Three options are available for those interested in becoming a marriage and family therapist: master's degree (2-3 years), doctoral program (3-5 years), or post-graduate clinical training programs (3-4 years). Historically, marriage and family therapists have come from a wide variety of educational backgrounds including psychology, psychiatry, social work, nursing, pastoral counseling and education.
The Federal government has designated marriage and family therapy as a core mental health profession along with psychiatry, psychology, social work and psychiatric nursing. Currently 42 states also support and regulate the profession by licensing or certifying marriage and family therapists with many other states considering licensing bills.
The regulatory requirements in most states are substantially equivalent to the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists Clinical Membership standards. After graduation from an accredited program, a period - usually two years - of post-degree supervised clinical experience is necessary before licensure or certification. When the supervision period is completed, the therapist can take a state licensing exam, or the national examination for marriage and family therapists conducted by the AAMFT Regulatory Boards. This exam is used as a licensure requirement in most states.
Where are MFTs employed?
While many are in private practice, MFTs can be found in schools, businesses, government agencies, hospitals and other mental health centers residential treatment facilities, legal and correctional systems and county and state mental health departments. In addition, many are employed in Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs)
HMOs, PPOs and other managed care companies employ and contract with MFTs for utilization review and provider screening as well as to provide mental health treatments. Insurance companies reimburse for psychotherapy services rendered by MFTs in most indemnity (fee-for-service) plans.
What is the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy?
AAMFT is the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), the National association for our profession based in Washington D. C. Since 1942, AAMFT has established and maintained standards for the practice of marriage and family therapy and has been involved with the problems, needs and changing patterns of couple and family relationships. AAMFT promotes increased understanding, research and education in our field on a national level and actively promotes legislation that ensures practitioners of the highest quality meet public needs. AAMFT educates therapists and the public about how to build healthier relationships and families.
This information is from the AAMFT web site and for more information on marriage and family therapy go to their web site at http://www.aamft.org
Referrals and Resources
If you want to begin therapy or you want to continue I am giving you some resources and referral names to consider for individual, couple and family therapy. I suggest you look at their web sites and call any that seem “right” for you. You really need to chat with whomever you call and don’t be shy about asking questions. Explain what you are wanting and ask how they would work with you. They should be able to tell you what model(s) of therapy they use and you can find info online about the different models. Many of the therapists have training in Relational Life Therapy, Gottman Method, Emotionally Focused, Internal Family Systems, etc. You do want to find the best fit for you. Feel free to say I referred you.
Relational Life Therapy
Terry Real has some good resources and articles for couples.
And, there are therapist recommendations on the site.
Their Bootcamps are in warm places
A great chance for a winter-get-away.
RLT Coaching
Lisa Merlo Booth, M.A. Relationship Expert
Lisa has some really great resources and articles on her web site.
Gottman Method of Couples Therapy
There are therapist recommendations on the site and great resources for couples.
I recommend you sign up for the “Marriage Minute” and make that a regular couple “60 second” activity for the two of you.
I, also, suggest you check out this research-based newsletter:
And, Check out their workshops for couples:
Other Therapists to check out
Patricia Gould, LMFT Note: Patricia can conduct sessions in Spanish
Kelvin Pace, LPC-S Note: Kelvin is a certified sex therapist.
These are group practices that have therapists with training in couple/family/ individual work. They all have LMFT Associates and Interns working with them who will provide a reduced fee for services.
Karen Cunningham, LMFT and Associates
52 ways to add excitement, joy and pleasure to your relationship
- Write a Valentine’s Day poem for each other (AI works great)
- And make a special valentine card for you partner
- Schedule times to read and discuss together
- Create a date night calendar for the next 6 months
- Share your “falling in love” story with your partner
- Spend an afternoon skating at Westchester Lagoon
- Watch the sunset over “Sleeping Lady”
- Splurge and spend a day at Alyeska at the Nordic Spa
- Pack a picnic lunch and roast marshmallows over a campfire
- Spend an afternoon at the Anchorage Museum or the Alaska Native Heritage Center
- Take a walk on the Coastal Trail
- Plan a future romantic get-away together
- Together write the next chapter of “The Story of US !” Include all your dreams.
- Create your personal downtown pub crawl map (be sure to take a taxi home)
- Take a stroll through the zoo
- Plan a “sex” date, set the stage and make it “hot”
- Recreate your first date
- Make ice cream sundaes at home
- Get materials and enjoy a craft night together
- Tour the local art galleries and end with a stop at your favorite watering hole
- Go to the gym together and after give each other a massage
- Take a class together…cooking…pottery…skiing…beer making…gardening …etc…
- Have a blackberry milk shake at the Arctic Roadrunner
- Challenge each other to an at-home-cook-off
- Start a book club for two
- Take a hike in your favorite spot
- Go to a concert or play
- Have an evening of candlelight
- Have breakfast in bed
- Plan a secret outing and surprise your partner
- Create a charcuterie board, make your favorite drinks, snuggle on the couch and watch a movie together
- Have a karaoke night
- Have a coffee at your favorite coffee spot
- Plan and have a progressive dinner by having appetizers, entree, and dessert at different locations
- Write a love letter to each other and read out loud
- Play your favorite video game together
- Go to your favorite book store and choose a book to read together
- Begin a couple’s journal
- Take a midnight walk under the stars
- Play your favorite music and have a dance-a-thon in your living room
- Watch your favorite childhood movies
- Do a walk-about in downtown Anchorage
- Do something you have always wanted to do and just have not !
- Put a puzzle together
- Plan and invite your partner on a “surprise” date
- Take part in a “First Friday”
- Do yoga together
- Have a video game tournament
- Enjoy a movie night at the Beartooth
- Have a dessert-only night
- Enjoy a spa night
- Make a couple time capsule
- Create a couple bucket list

by John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman